


"If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now..."

by ChaoticCliche23



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Free Verse, Original Recipe, Poetry, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Love, Self-Reflection, Self-Worth Issues, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-21 14:07:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20694791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticCliche23/pseuds/ChaoticCliche23
Summary: An intimate poem about a frustrating mixture of self-love, self-hate, and self-idealization





	"If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now..."

A serenade echoes on the wind  
beckoning  
closer and closer

With every inch forward  
desperation maddening  
hunting for the tracks you left me  
trail after trail in the wild dirt  
A never ending game of hide-and-seek  
_Come find me,_ you tease

I wonder if you remember  
how bad it is out here?  
What a luxury you offer me:  
to forget.  
A promise of being whole  
no longer  
without 

I've dreamed of you my whole life  
a ghostly loop  
of temptation  
dangling on a string 

It's the moment when  
I finally catch up  
Pass the threshold of the home  
so many tears fell for  
I'll know I've arrived as soon as I'm there  
Lavender-honey freedom  
and the song of your pulse  
a gentle, silver hum etched in sandcastle walls  
moonlight pentacle in an iron-cast  
baked with love  
on cinnamon kisses  
Turn the corner  
slowly  
and there you are 

Stardust shimmer in your hair  
chocolate fire in your eyes  
I want so much to feel fire  
again  
I want so much  
to know the charred embers  
still flickering red  
against my skin  
taste the smoke on my tongue  
I want you  
more than I've ever wanted anything  
or ever will again  
No one else understands why  
I'm out here still  
searching  
when there are plenty others  
willing to give me something  
else  
something unknown  
something maybe just as good?  
how could anything else ever be  
this good?  
If they really knew  
you  
they wouldn't ask me to compare  
Nothing will ever love me like you  
because I know  
no one  
has ever loved you  
like I do 

everything I do  
is to reach you  
everything I think  
is about you  
I don't move  
unless it's to find you  
define you  
everything I am is to become  
you 

They told me the only person  
I should chase  
is myself  
so I ran with it  
and now the future seems so far away 

Can't you let me hear your voice  
just once?

No more secrets  
I don't wanna play games anymore  
I'm so tired  
of chasing  
just tell me where you are  
why is that so hard?  
Please  
tell me anything  
promise me that it's worth it  
promise me that I make it  
promise me that you're mine  
I need you  
tell me you can hear me need you

I'm begging you  
Don't leave me out here  
My love for you is eternal  
but I'm so scared  
you'll get tired of waiting


End file.
